Epic Photoshop Fail.

You forgot the reflection dude.

Unplanned Selfie?

Fail selfie?

Facebook Status Fails!

funny facebook statuses updated!

•  When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
• X is color blind and trying to solve a rubiks cube… This could take a while.
• slept like a baby last night…. Waking up every 3 hours crying for food.
•  WARNING: Objects in mirror are fatter than they appear.
• If guys had periods, they’d brag about the size of their tampons.
• X is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
• decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
• One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions.
• I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
• Statistically 5/4 of people have trouble with fractions.
• sometimes, not remembering mey be the better.
• X says my computer just beat me at chess…but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
• X is the girl next door…if you live next door to a whore house.
• What is fat, ginger and pregnant? Nothing..
• The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary.
• wanted to kill the sexiest person alive…But suicide’s a crime.
• People say that love is in every corner……gosh! maybe i’m moving in circles..
• Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?
• Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
• X thinks that Facebook is the compost heap for my brain.
• if only life came with a ◄◄ REW ► PLAY ▌▌PAUSE █▌STOP
• ║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║█║▌│║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║ *ZAP* *BEEP* Price: $7.95
• Dear Santa, let me explain…
• I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty second lover
• Make love, not war. Hell, do both. Get married.
• Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
• Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
• Sometimes? Late at night? I rearrange traffic signs. People need to be challenged.
• ٩(•̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶ ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃•̃)۶
• Alcohol does NOT make you fat…it makes you lean…against tables,chairs,walls, floors and ….Ugly people!!!
• _̴ı̴̴̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲▫̲͡ ̲̲̲͡͡π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡▫̲̲͡͡ ̲|̡̡̡ ̡ ̴̡ı̴̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡
• 
  
• scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal today’s status.
• ̿̿̿ ̿’ ̿’̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ this is a stick-up… give me ALL yo [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅1̲̅)̲̅$̲̅]!
• Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their faces
• Boys are like baby diapers when they get to be filled with shit they are thrown to be replaced.
• i’ve yet to meet a woman who got pregnant from swallowing.
• Cut here —————–✄———————-
• Me and my wife are inseparable. Sometimes, it takes three or four people to pull us apart.
• I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
• People who write diet books live off the fat of the land.
• Dance like no one’s going to put it on YouTube.
• Doctors waiting room needs some music. And better lighting. And more women. And a pole in the middle of the room. And a buffet.
• Best Friends Listen to what you dont say.
• Just wanted to let you know that you are my BFBFF… Best Facebook Friend Forever..
• So many stupid people, and so few asteroids.
• Yes, I know how to shut up. I just don’t know when.
• You miss 100 percent of the shots u never take.
• Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhhhh its a secret.
• I use to be great at wordplay. Once a pun a time.
• I guess if you spoke your mind, you’d be speechless, huh?
• X thinks that 100-calorie packs have just enough cookies to piss me off!!

Latest Update! Funniest Status Ever

• If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

• Abortion; It doesn't make you "unpregnant," it makes you the mother of a dead baby.

• A cigarette reduces one's lifespan by 5 mins. and every time one has sex, it increases by 8 mins

• ‎*At the gym, Boy starts doing sit ups* Boy: 1...2...3.... *Hot girl walks by* Boy: 153...154...155.....

• Having 50 tabs open & not knowing which one That damn music is coming from.

• Last year, I asked Santa For the sexiest person ever for Christmas. & I WOKE UP IN A BOX.

• The awkward moment you flush the toilet in the middle of the night nd it’s the loudest sound in all the universe

• Isn't it funny, how Angels are always the females and Devils are always the males?

• Love isn't a tv channel which you can change every time when you get bored

• I spent my day making fun of people who talk to themselves, and then I realize I talk to myself ALL THE TIME.

Updated Collection

Updated Collection

ang love prang work yan...pag ngmahal ka, mag"APPLY' ka, sympre may exam at interview, pg na "HIRED" ka..do ol ur best pra di ka ma-early "FIRED", pg pagod kna mg "BREAK" k pro 20 mnts. lng bka mainip sya mghanap ng iba..pro ang pnaka ayaw mong dumating ang mg "END OF CONTRACT"..dba?Pano kung wala ng 'RECONTRACT"?..kya dpat kung mahal mo tlaga sya, gawin mo lahat2 para ma"REGULAR" ka!....diba?.... "






"The only thing common between all of us is that we all are different." =)"






"When people tries to bring you down, its only because you're above them.."






"The chemist who can extract from his heart's elements, compassion, respect, longing, patience, regret, surprise, and forgiveness and compound them into one can create that atom which is called love."






"Do you know what happens when you hurt people? They begin to love you less.. and the worst is, they may begin to forget that they loved you once.."

April Collection Of Funny Facebook Statuses

• i want a man... not a boy who thinks he can. 

• Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory

• feels ashamed of his smoking but it's better that I smoke this and let the dreams of the cigarette workers come true then to be selfish & worry about my lungs

• knows that some people say that he must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk.

• smells better than he tastes.

• is a vegetarian, not because he loves animals but because he hates plants!

• currently out of his mind but please feel free to leave a message

• not for everyone. Clinical tests show that he may cause nausea, fatigue, and kidney or liver problems. Ask your doctor if he is right for you