Latest Update! Funniest Status Ever

• If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

• Abortion; It doesn't make you "unpregnant," it makes you the mother of a dead baby.

• A cigarette reduces one's lifespan by 5 mins. and every time one has sex, it increases by 8 mins

• ‎*At the gym, Boy starts doing sit ups* Boy: 1...2...3.... *Hot girl walks by* Boy: 153...154...155.....

• Having 50 tabs open & not knowing which one That damn music is coming from.

• Last year, I asked Santa For the sexiest person ever for Christmas. & I WOKE UP IN A BOX.

• The awkward moment you flush the toilet in the middle of the night nd it’s the loudest sound in all the universe

• Isn't it funny, how Angels are always the females and Devils are always the males?

• Love isn't a tv channel which you can change every time when you get bored

• I spent my day making fun of people who talk to themselves, and then I realize I talk to myself ALL THE TIME.